I was a very hungry (or rather greedy) little girl, who used to sneak flapjacks out of the heart-covered tin in the kitchen when no one was looking and stuff them up my jumper so I could steal back to my room and eat them in peace. I used to eat whole tins of cream and condensed milk by removing the lid with a tin-opener and sticking in a spoon (as a result, even now the simple act of opening a tin, even a tin of beans, is freighted with the promise of delight), and even tried eating dried dogfood in furtive handfuls. It will surprise no one that I was somewhat tubby as a child.
Now, a million miles and years away (although still, arguably, somewhat tubby), I have the same breakfast every morning, from the ubiquitous Pret a Manger, which consists of the following: a skimmed latte, a banana, and an apple & raspberry yogurt pot. Once I get to the office I pour some dried muesli in to the top of the pot to make it seem healthy. The muesli looks, and tastes, exactly like the dog food I once tried to eat, which my mum still, rather cruelly, feeds to her cat.
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I also enjoyed cans of condensed milk, with a spoon, savouring every last drop. They now sell it in a tube but it is not as satisfying and feels gluttonous to suck it out of a tube, I think the spoon made it pleasurable.
Dad used to bring home the old army ration packs, a pile of tins with no labels. The suspense was amazing, shaking cans trying to guess what was in it, was it chocolate, was it boiled sweets….. Marmalade, that was always a big disappointment!
I also ate the dogs biscuits, out of curiosity, the black ones were the best! Thankfully I don't feel the desire to crush them up and put them on my yogurt, not a big muesli fan.
Also a little bit tubby but happy with the my theory that Cadburys Fruit and nut must be nutritious!
Have a great day.
Condensed milk in a tube...? That's a bit disgusting. It has to be out of a tin, and eaten till you feel sick.
If you put a tin in a pan of simmering water and leave it for an hour or so it turns into caramel mush. Mmmmm
My mother's lawyers have asked me to clarify that she does not, in fact, feed dry dog food to the cat. I am happy to print the clarification in full:
"In the bad old days, poor Tigger used to get some of Barley's meal mixed with her cat food for economy's sake".
In my defence, I would like to think that poetic licence and the glimpse of a more dramatic story are worth a touch of exaggeration.
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