I had two empty celebrity experiences for the price of one this week: first Kylie at the Hong Kong Expo site near the airport; and secondly Roger Moore at the Discovery Bay Dymock's. In their way each was as unengaging as the other: Kylie victim of the large, alienating arena with a vacuum where an atmosphere should be, gamely kicking her way through the hits; Roger's frozen face and that of his wife and their bodyguard, lined up politely behind a table to sign the risibly-titled "My Word Is My Bond" ("Roger Moore with Gareth Owen", it says discreetly on the title page). I asked him what he thought of Discovery Bay and he said it was beautiful (today, to be fair, it is: the skies blue and the air cool), to which I replied that I advised him to get out as soon as possible, only belatedly realising that this could have been construed as some sort of threat and I was damn lucky not to be taken down.
Since my motivation for going along to both events could best be described as kitsch-experience seeking, I richly deserved what I got, which wasn't much.
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For a brief, glorious period I owned a copy of "Not Many People Know That: Michael Caine's Almanac of Uncommon Knowledge", signed by the man himself and purchased for nix at a second hand bookstore. I gave it to a cinephile pal knowing it would make him happy, but I still miss it. It is the best ever book written by any actor ever.
A much more noble tale than mine, Deke, and a better prize to boot. Sadly I don't think I can give Roger's opus away. The only person I know who took him seriously was my Granny and it's 20years too late to give it to her.
Dispiritingly, he declares at the start that it's to be "a fun book, with no recycled scandal, tittle-tattle or dirt-dishing".
About 15 years ago I met a life hero on mine - Glen Campbell and he signed my tickets to his concert. A charming man, 99% sincere, 1% rhinestone. hugs brian
Hello, Brian, nice to see you here. I wouldn't have had you down as a Glen Campbell fan. But then, unfairly, I associate you with the Smiths ("who said I lied, because I never..."), an association that's now over 20 years out of date.
Stand by for a discreet mention in the post I'm planning about penpals...
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